Play Me (Jaded Ivory Book 5) Read online

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m fine alone.”

  “Bullshit. Remember I lived with you. I know how much you hate the quiet and with Monty and Allana getting their own place, I know the quiet of this condo is driving you crazy. It’s why you always have the TV or music playing in the background.”

  “What do you suggest I do?”

  “Meet with her. Sit down and listen to what she has to say. What do you have to lose? If you don’t like her reason, you leave and never see her again. Then you can tell me I was wrong for the rest of my life. But maybe you learn something new and see the world around you in a different light.”

  The parts of my mind warred with each other. One flooded with guilt over the way I’d treated her the last few days after everything she went through and another had trouble letting go of the way I’d treated Megan for the last few weeks.

  I ran a hand over my face. “I don’t know, man.”

  “Nobody said you had to decide tonight. You just had a whole bunch of shit dropped on your lap. Just think about it.” He stood up and pulled his keys from his pocket. “This time I really do have to run and grab Mia.”

  “Lying bastard,” I muttered.

  “Only for a good cause.” He smirked. “Sleep on it and let me know what you want to do.”

  “What, you’re not going to give me her number?”

  He arched a brow. “I know you better than to do that. Not until you make a decision. Then the rest is up to her.”

  I heard the door shut behind him, leaving me alone with way too many thoughts for one person. It was only a little after eight at night. I shoved the papers back into the envelope and flipped on the TV. Anything to keep my brain from going in a million different directions, but that didn’t help.

  10

  Megan

  “I can’t wear this.” I groaned into the empty room and flopped back down onto the bed. A bed I could barely see with it covered in half of my closet. I spent most of my time in fatigues or scrubs. Not much need for a million outfits to go out in, especially not out to dinner with my ex, who I was still in love with.

  What possessed me to agree to meet him for dinner? When Heath texted me earlier in the week that Jackson wanted to sit down and talk, I jumped at the chance. Now that the day had arrived, I had to wonder what I’d been thinking. What if he didn’t forgive me? What if this was all a ruse to get me there so he could lose his shit on me one last time and tell me to stay the hell out of his life?

  But I knew Jackson better than that. He’d rather ignore me and pretend I didn’t exist than bring me somewhere to tell me to fuck off. Deep down I didn’t think Heath was like that either. Something in that envelope caught Jackson’s attention. Whether it was the news of my arrest or the pictures of me in my time overseas, I didn’t care. Anything for him to know and understand the truth about why I’d walked away all those years ago.

  In all of our time apart, I never stopped loving him. Even if it meant loving him from afar, I had to give him a chance for the career he always wanted. When I first realized it was him behind the guitar in Jaded Ivory, I’d been shocked. Not because a band he’d been in had hit it big. I expected that. He had talent in spades, but he was a singer. I remembered going home with him to watch his high school band play. Aiden and Jackson took turn singing. In the end, I always thought he’d be the lead singer for whatever band he was in.

  I could sit there and dwell on the past all night. At some point I needed to get up and focus on tonight. Sitting up, I glanced around at the destruction my indecision had created. I’d clean it up later. First I had to find something to wear. My eyes landed on a peek of blue fabric sitting in the back of my closet. It belonged to a dress I hadn’t yet worn. When I bought it, I’d been dating a guy for a couple of months. The first one I spent more than a date or two with since I’d walked away from Jackson. The night before I planned on wearing it to a dinner he had for work, we’d gone to a bar where the DJ had a particular like for Jaded Ivory. It was the same night I realized I did too.

  Deep down I knew I’d never be able to move on with anyone else until I told Jackson the truth and apologized for what I did to us. I didn’t believe there was a chance for us. My brain understood that, but until my heart did, it wouldn’t let me fall for anyone else. And that would come from Jackson’s forgiveness.

  With a new resolve, I stood and took the dress from the hanger. Once I had it on, I twisted my long blond hair into soft curls. A quick glance in the mirror showed the dark circles that had become a permanent fixture below my eyes since the night Jackson had come into the emergency room. Nothing I did stopped the constant dreams about him. I did my best to cover them lightly with makeup. A small sliver of color peeked through the beige.

  Time was up.

  I forced myself out of the bathroom and grabbed my purse and my keys on the way out. The butterflies rolled around my stomach as the door closed me into the car. It was now or never. I started the engine and pulled out of the lot. Time to face the music.

  My heart thundered in my chest as I stepped out of my car and looked up at the restaurant in front of me. I’d never been anywhere so exclusive, but I could see the appeal. Jackson and I could have any conversation without anyone listening in or repeating what they heard to anyone else.

  The whole situation felt strange. I’d been in plenty of bars and restaurants in the area and not once had I worried about what I said. No one cared about the boring life of Megan Randall.

  Let’s face it—my life just wasn’t interesting.

  But for Jackson, his world was completely different. People paid money to get the latest piece of juicy gossip. Hell, even I followed them on social media. And every time one of them did something out of the ordinary, it was posted all over the Internet for everyone to see.

  Except Jackson.

  I noticed there was very little reported about him. It seemed he liked to keep his head low.

  Squaring my shoulders, I hit the lock button and walked toward the front entrance. The gentleman at the host stand came around and opened the door before I’d even reached it.

  “Good evening. Do you have a reservation?”

  I fumbled around with my bag. “I don’t, but I’m meeting someone here who does.” I pulled out my phone to text Heath. I’d forgotten to ask if the reservation would be under his or Jackson’s name. “Hold on, let me—”

  A hand landed on my shoulder. “She’s with me.”

  I glanced behind me to see Heath’s smiling face.

  “Very good, sir.” He nodded. “I’ll show her to your table.”

  He turned and started toward the back of the restaurant.

  I glanced at Heath out of the corner of my eye. “I thought Jackson was meeting me here. Did he change his mind?” My heart dropped at the thought.

  A smirk lifted the corner of Heath’s lips. “Nope, he’s here. But still isn’t allowed to drive.”

  His ankle. I smacked myself on the forehead. How had I forgotten about that already?

  “So, you drove him here?”

  “I did, but I’m going to sit over at the bar while you two talk.” He gestured with his head to the left where a long bar took up almost the entire wall.

  My fingers began to tremble. I clasped them together in front of me, twisting them around.

  As we got farther into the back of the restaurant, Heath laid a hand on my arm to stop me. “Don’t be nervous. I think he understands a whole lot more than when you saw him for the first time a few weeks ago.”

  “He’s not mad?”

  Heath shook his head. “I didn’t say that. I’m not sure he knows what to think right now and he has a lot of questions.”

  “Questions I can handle. Outright disdain and hatred, I’m not so sure about.”

  A kind smile lit his eyes. “I don’t think you’ll find that tonight. Just remember be honest. You know Jackson as well as I do. This is a one-shot deal.”

  I nodded. I knew that from the mome
nt Heath texted and said Jackson had agreed to meet with me. It was all or nothing here. At least once tonight was over, we’d both be able to move on with our lives. I could finally let go of the guilt that had been holding me back for years.

  He gestured with his hand for me to go ahead of him. I followed the path the host had taken on his way back through the tables. When I turned left into a small room, I practically stopped in my tracks. Every table in the room was empty, except for the one in the back corner.

  Jackson sat with his back to the wall, facing the only entrance into the room, his eyes trained on the doorway. The host looked back and forth between us.

  “Your waiter will be with you momentarily.”

  He turned and walked past me, but I couldn’t take my eyes off the man who watched me from across the room.

  “Don’t be afraid. Go and talk to him,” Heath whispered behind me.

  Jackson gave a slight nod and when I peeked over my shoulder, Heath was gone. Jackson and I watched each other for long moments before I started forward on wobbly legs. They could give out on me any second if I wasn’t careful.

  As I approached the table, I noticed the seat next to Jackson had been pulled out, his booted leg resting on the chair. But that wasn’t the only thing that caught my attention. Sitting next to a half empty beer bottle was the manila envelope I’d given him, but this time my official army picture placed on top.

  I reached for the back of the chair opposite him but stopped myself from pulling it out. Before I sat down and gave myself over to whatever questions he might have, I needed to know whether or not he believed me. “Do you believe what I told you in the elevator the other day?”

  His gaze locked in on mine. “Aren’t you going to sit?”

  “Not until you answer my question. The last two times I saw you were brutal and I’m not sure I can take a third.”

  His brow arched and he watched me for a moment. “But you’re the one who wanted to meet?”

  “Yes, with the hopes that what I sent you would make a difference. If it didn’t, I can be on my way.” I straightened my posture. I wouldn’t let him see me break down again. Yes, I’d hurt him years before, but all of it was done to protect him, he just didn’t know it yet.

  He inclined his head slightly. “Fair enough. I believe you were arrested and lost your scholarship.” He rested his fingers on the picture, moving it closer to the center of the table. “It’s also fairly obvious that you joined the military at some point.”

  “But…?” I asked when he didn’t continue.

  “But,” he emphasized. “There’s still a lot of the puzzle missing. Pieces Heath said you had to give me.” He opened his arms and gestured to the room. “So here we are, neutral territory.”

  “Not exactly neutral,” I muttered, finally pulling out the chair.

  “How isn’t it neutral?” He narrowed his eyes at me.

  I glanced around the room. “I couldn’t get into a place like this without you or Heath making the reservations.”

  “Well, if it makes you feel better, I’ve never been here before and it’s not exactly a place I’d consider spending my time.” He hooked a finger in the collar of his suit, tugging on the tie a bit.

  It was then I really looked at him. From a distance the dress shirt and jacket screamed of money and privilege. Of the benefits of fame. Then Heath’s words came back to me.

  You know him as well as I do.

  And if there was one thing I knew about Jackson, it was his absolute disdain for appearances. He hated dressing up or wearing what was expected of him. He preferred his holey jeans and T-shirts. Suddenly the butterflies battling in my stomach seemed to settle a bit.

  I gestured toward the shirt and tie. “Then why pick a place you don’t like? I know you are probably miserable in that outfit.”

  “And you think you know me?” he asked without any heat behind the question.

  “Know you? Not completely. There are parts of you I know very well. The pieces of you that even fame can’t touch, like your hatred of anything other than jeans and a T-shirt.”

  I sat back and crossed my arms over my chest, daring him to deny it. With his eyes on me, he lifted the beer to his lips.

  “You are right about that. I hate this outfit. But this place has its advantages.”

  “If you’ve never been here, how do you know that?”

  “Because I’ve never been here. Which means I can keep everyone out of my business.”

  The choice of place finally made sense. The waiter came over to take our drink orders. I noticed Jackson kept looking at my photo, then back up at me while we waited for the waiter to return with our drinks.

  After setting the glass of wine in front of me and another beer in front of Jackson, he took our food orders and disappeared.

  When Jackson seemed distracted by the envelope, I sat forward and crossed my arms on top of the table. “Ask me what you want to know.”

  11

  Jackson

  Not what I was expecting. Heath suggested this place for its privacy and I balked at the idea. Getting dressed up to have dinner with a woman I wasn’t sure I could trust anymore didn’t sound like the best idea. At least until he pointed out that we weren’t at anyone’s home, which meant either of us could leave at any time. Plus, no one who frequented the Topp House would give two shits about my personal business. Still we had Reagan call in some favors to clear the room we were sitting in.

  Once Heath had gone to get her, I braced myself to keep my anger and hatred at bay. They had no place in our coming conversation. Not after everything I’d learned. But that wasn’t what I felt when she turned the corner into the room, following the host. In a dark navy dress that rested off the shoulder on one side, I was rendered speechless for a moment. Gone was the college girl in the tight-fitting V-necks and short denim skirts or tight jeans. In her place stood a woman who had men’s heads turning at her from every direction no doubt.

  My traitorous cock was no different. And that was before she sat down in the seat across from me and her perfume filled my senses. I had to remind myself more than once what we were there for.

  Like the first time I saw Megan, she’d captured my attention.

  Now that moment led us to sitting in a restaurant, and all that was between us were secrets and lies. Time for all the bullshit to end. I wanted the whole truth. I sat as far forward as my leg would allow and tested her request.

  “Let’s start with something easy. How did you end up at that party in the first place?”

  She picked up her wine glass. “My friend wanted to go. I was bored at home and figured it couldn’t hurt.”

  “You say it like it was no big deal.”

  Her brow lifted. “On the contrary. That night changed my entire life.”

  “Not just yours,” I muttered as I brought the bottle to my lips.

  “True, but yours turned out a whole lot more successful than mine.”

  I scoffed. “You don’t know me very well if you think any of this”—I gestured around the room—“means shit to me. I never cared about the money. It’s all—”

  “About the music.” She nodded. “I know. It always was with you.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “Then why act like there was nothing to that night?”

  She rested her arms on the table. “Because I’ve come to terms with the poor decisions I made that night. I can’t go back and change them, so I needed to learn how to live with them.”

  “And even after the charges were dropped you couldn’t get the scholarship back?”

  She pointed to the envelope. “You’ve read the letters. I tried, but they wouldn’t budge. They’d pulled my scholarship a week after my arrest and gave me twenty-four hours to pack up my stuff.”

  “That doesn’t seem fair.”

  “Well, yes and no. The drugs weren’t mine, but I’d been drinking. It took me a long time to see their point.”

  “That still doesn’t explain why you didn’t tak
e five minutes to text me and explain everything. One call, one text and we could have avoided all this bullshit.” I gnashed my teeth together to keep myself from losing my temper.

  Her eyes shimmered in the light and she nodded, forcing one of the tears to spill down her cheek. “I know. I’ve questioned that decision every day since the moment I left. Can I ask you a question?”

  Apparently she didn’t want to answer. I wondered if she finally started to regret the decision she made to walk away without a word. Maybe it was childish, but I didn’t really feel like answering hers if shouldn’t answer mine. I pulled the napkin off my lap and reached for my crutches.

  Her eyes widened. “Where are you going?”

  “If you’re not going to explain why, then there’s no reason to stay. The answer to that question is the only reason I’m here tonight. Heath will take care of the bill.”

  I pushed myself to standing and glanced up only to find her blocking my path.

  “One,” she said, lifting her index finger, her face reddening, “I’m perfectly capable of paying for my own food and drinks. I may not be a multimillionaire, but I do just fine on my own. Second, if you’d answer my questions, I’d get to the point and you’d get your precious answer.”

  Our gazes stayed locked as we waited for the other to back down. I didn’t want to give in, but I wanted the answer more than I wanted to be a hard-ass.

  I lowered myself back to the seat and set my crutches against the wall again.

  “Fine. Ask your question but get to the point quickly.”

  She watched me from where she stood, her eyes darting between me and the crutches. For a moment, I thought she might take them and move them out of my reach. Instead, she walked back over to her chair and took her seat, all the while keeping her gaze locked on mine.

  “Okay, what I want to know is what you would have done when you found out I lost my scholarship. You know my parents couldn’t afford that school without the scholarship. So, what would you have done when you found out I was heading home to stay?”