Play Me (Jaded Ivory Book 5) Read online

  Jackson’s heart had hardened over the years and the more I thought about it, the more I realized it was my fault.

  Now, I stood in the middle of an empty hospital room, holding a phone clutched in my hand like it was a lifeline. I wanted to hope he’d come rolling back in to grab it and I’d have one last chance to talk to him.

  Didn’t stop the tears from slipping down my cheeks unchecked. I’d held them back the entire time he had been here, even with each hate-filled comment he’d hurled my way. I just couldn’t do it anymore.

  “Hi, I’m looking for—”

  I practically jumped out of my skin at the deep voice behind me. Furiously brushing at my face, I turned to face whoever was speaking.

  “Jackson’s phone. Looks like you already found it.”

  “Um…yeah,” I said, feeling like a complete idiot as I reached forward to hand it over.

  Dealing with Jackson or Monty was one thing, but a stranger was something different entirely.

  He took the phone but stayed where he was. “You’re Megan, right?”

  “That’s me,” I said, squaring my shoulders and taking a step toward the door. Enough was enough for one day. I still had three hours left on my shift and I didn’t need to do it in tears.

  He placed a hand on my arm as I went to step by him. “I’m Heath. Can I ask you a question?”

  I glanced down at his hand, then back up at his face. Unlike the disgust and hatred I saw on Monty’s and Jackson’s faces earlier, all I could see was confusion and curiosity. He genuinely wanted to know something.

  And like a glutton for punishment, I said, “Okay.”

  I braced myself for whatever might come out of his mouth. Probably something about how I could leave such a great guy. Or even better, what the hell had I been thinking. And the answer to that question—I hadn’t.

  “Jackson said you tried to explain why you left.”

  I let out a sigh. “I did. Not that he wanted to listen to a word I had to say.”

  The back of my throat started to burn as I remembered the revulsion and disbelief on his face when I told him what had happened all those years ago.

  “What did you tell him?” He tilted his head to the side as if trying to figure out a puzzle.

  “The truth. The one that’s haunted me since that day.” I dropped my gaze, knowing it wouldn’t be long before the world that had gone blurry would send tears streaming down my face.

  “And what is that? What happened that made you leave?”

  He wanted to know what happened? I had nothing else to lose. I steeled myself, trying to force back the emotions as I lifted my head, letting him see the pain I knew would be reflected in my eyes.

  “I got arrested. Once the college found out, they revoked my scholarship. I couldn’t afford to stay in school without it, so I left.”

  His brow creased into a straight line. “Arrested?”

  “For something that wasn’t my fault. The charges were dropped, but the college had already made its decision.”

  I thought back to the million phone calls I made to get it reinstated with no success.

  Conduct unbecoming a student on our campus.

  The phrase had taunted me every day since. I watched different emotions play over Heath’s face. I couldn’t read a single one.

  He dropped his hand from my arm. “That doesn’t explain why you didn’t call him and tell him what happened. Where you went.”

  A humorless chuckle left my lips. “How well do you know Jackson?”

  “Um…I’d say pretty well considering I lived with him after college and we’ve been playing together for the last seven years.”

  I nodded. “Then you know when he has his mind set on something, it takes a miracle to change it.”

  A smirk lifted the corner of his lips. “I think I’ve seen it a time or two over the years.”

  I stood straighter and crossed my arms over my chest. “What would you say if you knew we were talking about getting married right after graduation? We’d planned on living together junior and senior year. Do you think Jackson would have stayed in that school, knowing I was on the other side of the country working shitty jobs to try and scrape together enough money to pay for night school?” I dropped my arms by my sides, my hands clenching and unclenching in frustration at how unfair everything had been. The smirk fell from his face, a frown forming in its place. “Exactly. He would have left school and followed me home to a school back east. You’ve seen him play, heard him sing. He’d get accepted anywhere he wanted. I didn’t want my mistakes to take that away from him.”

  The fight left me and I stepped back and dropped into the chair against the wall, the tears slipped down my cheeks. “I didn’t want to ruin all that he could have had. And I was right. Look at the success he found with you.” I brushed the wetness away.

  “How did you end up becoming a nurse then?”

  I shrugged. “I joined the army and started my training there. Then after boot camp I took night classes that the army paid for.”

  “Shit,” he muttered. Heath walked over and crouched down in front of me. “Jackson might kick my ass for this later, but I want to help.” He laid his hand on mine.

  “I don’t want to cause a fight between the two of you.”

  He chuckled. “It’s better than having my wife kick my ass for not helping. And, let’s just say I have a habit of sticking my nose into other people’s business.” He winked.

  Something about the way he looked at me disintegrated the boulder that had settled in the pit of my stomach. For me this wasn’t about anything other than the truth and forgiveness. Most people would assume I wanted Jackson back because of his fame. They didn’t know I’d been trying to find a way to contact him for the last four or five years. It had never been about his celebrity status.

  “Thank you, but I’m not even sure how you’d get him to listen.”

  He stood and held out a hand to help me to my feet. “I know I can’t.” I narrowed my eyes, but he held up a hand and continued. “You have to be the one to get him to listen. You know him. Find something that will make him believe what you are saying.” He pointed at the notepad in my pocket, which I took out and handed over with a pen. He wrote something down and handed it back. “Text me when you figure it out. I’ll take care of the rest.”

  He smiled and shoved Jackson’s phone into his pocket. When he got to the door, I called his name.

  “Yeah?” He glanced over his shoulder at me.

  “Aren’t you afraid about me only wanting Jackson for his money and status? Most people would be.”

  “Nah.” He shook his head. “You remind me a lot of my wife and she wanted nothing to do with me at first because of who I was. I think all you want is forgiveness for leaving the way you did, and after hearing your story I think you deserve it. Let me know when you figure it out.” He smacked his hand on the doorjamb as he walked out the door.

  I glanced down at the notepad where Heath had left me his number. I ripped it off and immediately went to my locker to tuck it into a pocket in my wallet. The last thing I needed was for someone to get a hold of it and post it all over social media.

  I couldn’t do that to him. Not when he’d been kind enough to offer to help fix a mistake I made years ago. Not when he believed my reason for wanting to talk to Jackson when most would blow me off or tell me to go to hell. Exactly like Monty did.

  But Monty knew the same story Jackson did. Hell, I spent enough time with both of them in college to not be surprised by how Monty acted when he saw me both times. I had to be one of the few people in the world who wasn’t surprised by his spur of the moment Vegas wedding. Wild and fun, he was also very protective of his friends. Monty’s hatred for me would come only second to Jackson’s.

  Jackson.

  What could I possibly say to him to show him the truth of it all?

  The three hours that seemed daunting before Heath came back for Jackson’s phone now seemed insurmountable. I we
nt from patient to patient, my mind wandering back to Jackson at any break I got. At least until a motor vehicle accident came in. Then, all my attention went to the victims of the crash.

  By the time we cleared some of the people in the cars and sent the rest up to be admitted, it was two hours past the end of my shift. With my feet dragging, I took the elevator down to my locker to collect my things.

  The bus seemed to take longer than normal to get to my stop. My eyelids were drooping by the time I unlocked my front door. All the reason not to drive into work and cause an accident of my own.

  I dragged my bag through the door and bypassed the kitchen for the couch. There would be time for food later. I wanted to call my mom first.

  I dialed and was happy when she answered on the second ring. “Megan, baby girl. How are you?”

  I sighed. “Let’s just say it’s been a rough week.”

  “Oh no, what happened?” I could hear the volume of the TV lower in the background.

  “You’re never going to guess who I ran into the other night and when I say ran into, I mean literally.”

  “Who?”

  “Jackson Hadden.”

  "What?” Her voice rose an octave.

  “Yep, ran right into him at the movie theater and if that wasn’t bad enough, he came into the emergency room today for his ankle.”

  “Well, did you talk to him?”

  The back of my throat started to burn. “I did. I told him the whole story on the elevator.”

  “That’s wonderful,” she interrupted before I had a chance to finish. “Now you can put all of that messy past behind you.”

  “It’s not that simple, Mom.” I ran a hand through my hair and began pacing the living room.

  “Why not? You told him the truth. You can both move on with your lives or someday you can try and rebuild your friendship.”

  “He told me he didn’t believe me.” A tear slipped down my cheek.

  “Oh, baby,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

  “I knew this could happen, but I guess a part of me hoped it wouldn’t. That he’d listen, even after all I’d done.”

  There was some rustling, then I heard a door shut. “I came down the hall, so I didn’t wake Dad up. I know this hurts, but think about how hurt he’s been all these years, not knowing where you were or what happened. You should’ve—”

  “No,” I cut her off. “I couldn’t tell him.”

  “I know you keep telling yourself that.”

  “But it’s true,” I argued.

  She was silent for a long moment. “If he won’t listen, I have a feeling you’re still going to try to figure out a way.”

  “I am. One of his friends offered to help. I just need to think of a way to get through to him.”

  “I’m sure you’ll come up with a plan. You always do. Eventually he’ll see what’s right in front of him.”

  “Maybe. Until then, I need to figure out how to show him without words what happened.”

  “I have faith in you, baby girl.”

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  We talked a few minutes more before saying our goodbyes. I settled back. My eyelids growing heavy once more.

  The cushions of the couch were soft under my exhausted body as I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

  Images of my time overseas paraded through my mind. One after another, like a movie.

  I lurched forward, almost falling off the couch as I tried to catch my breath. My eyes darted around in an attempt to get my bearings.

  The living room.

  Shit. I’d fallen asleep on the couch. Sitting up, I forced myself up to grab my phone from my bag and check the time. Half past midnight. Damn, I’d been more tired than I thought. Three hours on the couch did not do well for the muscles in my neck.

  I moved my head from side to side, hoping to relieve the tension. At least the couch was more comfortable than any military cot I’d ever slept on.

  That’s it.

  I didn’t need words to convince Jackson. I needed pictures. Pictures and letters. The one from the school revoking my scholarship, pictures of me overseas, the article in the paper about the busted party.

  Each move, I told myself to throw it all out. It was in the past, so why did I need to hold onto the things that reminded me of horrible times in my life? Something made me keep them. At least now I knew what I could use them for.

  7

  Jackson

  “Are you sure you want to stay here tonight?” Monty asked as the elevator doors opened. “You can take the guest room at our place.”

  Flashbacks from the other night when I ran into Megan at the movie theater hit me. It seemed every time I ran into Megan, someone wanted me to sleep at their place instead of my own.

  “Or ours?” Heath offered.

  “Having a bit of déjà vu tonight.”

  “Huh?” Heath asked.

  I shook my head. “Never mind. I’ll be good here.” I tried to focus on using the crutches and not falling flat on my face as we moved down the hall to my front door Monty raced ahead and unlocked it, pushing it all the way open and holding it so I could get past. There wasn’t too much in my way between the door and the couch. The bigger challenge would be my bedroom. Guitars and shit littered the floor.

  There hadn’t been anyone worth bothering to clean it for. Heath darted around me, picking up anything that might catch the crutches as I hobbled around the coffee table and dropped ungracefully to the couch.

  I let out a breath and rested my head against the back.

  “You need to put your foot up,” Heath reminded me.

  There was rustling around the kitchen. I opened my eyes to see Heath had placed a pillow on the coffee table. I put my hand under my knee and lifted my ankle to rest it on the pillow.

  “Thanks, man.”

  “No problem. Anything else you need before we head out?”

  “A drink and some painkillers.”

  Monty scoffed. “And you say I make bad decisions.”

  “Dumbass, the painkillers are for bed. For now, I’m gonna dull the pain with some Captain. No reason to take the meds when a little liquor will do just fine.”

  Heath walked back into the kitchen. I dropped my head down again and closed my eyes. How the fuck did I end up in shit like this? The recliner creaked as someone sat down, most likely Monty.

  “I know I’m the king of bad decisions, but you really don’t need to drink the memories of Megan away tonight.”

  I lifted my head, cracking an eye open. “That’s rich coming from you. You’d already be shit-faced if Megan were your ex.”

  He lifted a shoulder. “Probably. But that’s where you’re different than me. Plus, who knows how the drugs they gave you will react with the alcohol.”

  “How about I promise I won’t take the drugs until after the alcohol has worn off?”

  “Fair enough,” Monty said.

  He stood as Heath returned a few minutes later with a beer bottle, a glass of water, and the prescription pill bottle. He handed me the beer first.

  “I don’t recommend it, but this is the strongest alcohol you’re getting from me with the meds they gave you.”

  I wanted to argue, but I knew he was right. A beer would be fine. Just enough to settle my nerves after the last few hours.

  The army. Her insane story still blew my mind.

  I took the bottle while Heath set the pills and water on the table. Monty leaned the crutches against the edge of the couch where I could reach them.

  Heath threw a thumb over his shoulder. “We’re gonna head out. Take your meds and don’t stay up too late. We still have to play tomorrow.”

  I lifted the bottle to my lips, taking long pulls before answering. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll get some sleep.”

  “One of us will be by in the morning to take you to the doctor, then bring you over to the arena. Sawyer said he and Reagan will drop your car off in a little bit.”

  I took another swig of the b
eer, letting the alcohol settle the storm from the last few hours. “Afraid I won’t be there on time?”

  Heath looked down at the boot on my foot and back up again. “Afraid you won’t be able to push the gas pedal down.”

  “Fine. Text me when you get here and I’ll meet you in the garage.”

  “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Monty smirked.

  Heath shook his head. “Don’t tell him that. There’s not much you won’t do.”

  “I can—”

  I held up my hand to stop the argument starting to brew. “I’m fine. I just need to wind down and get some sleep.”

  Monty side-eyed me. I knew he thought I’d spend the night drowning Megan out of my system, but nothing could be farther from the truth. Megan walked out of my life seven years ago. The last two days were a coincidence. The city was huge. There was no way we’d run into each other again anytime soon. And now I knew I needed to avoid the hospital she worked at.

  “I promise. I’m not letting her get to me. Go see Allana and Jenna. I’ll be good and ready to go tomorrow.”

  “See ya in the morning,” Heath said, but I could see the way he watched me as he turned to leave.

  Monty held out a little longer. “The bitch isn’t worth your time.”

  “No. She’s not. So, I’m going to sit here, forget about her, and be pissed about how I’m stuck hobbling around on these crutches for the next few weeks.”

  “You do kind of suck on crutches.”

  I glanced down at his legs. “Well, we all can’t be experts. Most of us aren’t crazy enough to break our leg twice or feet or sprain ankles or knees—”

  “Okay, I get it. No one is as wild as me. Which suits me just fine. Speaking of wild, I’m going home to have wild sex with my wife.”

  I pointed at the door, laughing. “Get out. Heath, take him with you before he starts telling me about the positions he’s going to use tonight.”

  Heath came back and wrapped a hand around Monty’s bicep, dragging him away. The sound of the door shutting behind them was music to my ears. I needed some time alone.